UWF Fury Hour Episode One - 10/1/1990

With footage from the September 24th Reseda Country Club taping, the first episode of UWF Fury Hour was broadcast on SportsChannel America on Monday October 1st, 1990.

"There's excitement in the air throughout this capacity crowd. This is the premier of the UWF!" - Herb Abrams

The show opens with promoter Herb Abrams joined on commentary by the late wrestling legend and former World Champion Bruno Sammartino. Sammartino's involvement at such an early stage added legitimacy to Abram's UWF and no doubt appealed to other wrestlers considering joining the company.

The introduction is brief, with Bruno telling us the UWF has some of the finest talent in the world, and it's on to the first match.

Match 1: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams vs. Davey "The Observer" Meltzer

It's the first of many UWF squash matches, where one wrestler is booked to completely destroy their opponent and come out looking strong. In this case it was also meant to take a shot at a prominent wrestling reporter.

Hardcore wrestling fans may pick up on the reference to Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, but in case you aren't familiar, this is Herb Abrams taking a shot at the man often considered the top pro wrestling journalist in the business. Wrestlers refer to publications such as WON as "dirt sheets," ever searching for themselves in the columns while hating everything written. Due to Meltzer acting as a wrestling critic without himself being a wrestler, he's not well liked by many in the industry. 

All you need to know about Davey "The Observer" Meltzer

Therefore, the UWF wrestler Davey Meltzer (real name Adam Michaels) is an out of shape jobber (wrestler hired to lose to a company's valued wrestlers) who gets easily squashed by Dr. Death. Chances are good the real Meltzer printed something negative about the UWF, and it must have stung Abrams enough to invoke such a specific attack on his very first episode. He even requested a trainer's worst wrestler for the role, which of course was Michaels (Tortured Ambition).

Dr. Death Performs Dirt Sheet Ritual. Photo Source: Mat Review

Davey seems to be wearing William's extra pair of boots as they confusingly have the same skull and crossbones on the side. It's the only thing going for Davey at this point, who really isn't the type of guy that should be going around with his shirt off.

Exhibit A:

Some of the match highlights are Williams lifting Davey over his head for a big press slam, as well as picking Davey up and ramming him into opposing corners. Williams delivers a vertical suplex to Davey, and, according to Sammartino, gets thrown down "like last night's garbage." Bruno is rough on his trash, apparently.  

Sammartino is critical of Williams continuing to squash throughout the match without going for a pin, as he felt it was obvious in thirty seconds who would win. Thirty seconds is generous. One look at Davey and you're ready to bet against him no matter his opponent.

When Williams does go for the pin, the ref gives a sloppy four count and you have to wonder if there were any qualifications for being a UWF referee, including ever watching a single wrestling match. This is minor compared to the later referee botches that would occur in this federation, but you can take it as a sign of what's to come.

After defeating Davey, Williams performs what may be called the Dirt Sheet Ritual. First stuffing paper  into Davey's mouth, Williams then produces a small sack of dirt and sprinkles it over the fallen Davey Meltzer. In the crowd, Ross Blair of Mat Review could hear Williams say something like, "This is what you get for saying bad stuff about us and running down the business." On commentary, Herb feigns ignorance for the motive, although he botches his line by saying, "Steve is sending a message to Dr. Death!"

The actual Dave Meltzer was made aware of this incident but didn't seem too bothered by it. Instead, he hoped WWE would make such a direct jab and get him some free attention.

Commercial break: As I'm watching Fury Hour on YouTube with the original commercials left in, why not mention them for an extra dose of nostalgia? 

The first is for a NordicTrack ski machine. Apparently NordicTrack sold better through TV ads than in stores, because it was somewhat difficult to learn to operate and anyone who tried it for the first time in public usually embarrassed themselves into losing interest. The mail order purchase came with an instructional VHS tape to allow the user to learn the machine without shame in the comfort of their own home.

Would you be embarrassed?

Match 2: Cactus Jack vs. David Sammartino

Mick Foley makes his UWF debut in his Cactus Jack persona, always billed here as "The Unpredictable" Cactus Jack. Herb had a penchant for adding these extra titles to some of the names. In this case it's hard to disagree, proven many times throughout the years. As Cactus makes his way down the aisle, Herb exclaims, "This man is from the Twilight Zone!"

David Sammartino soon follows. In case you didn't already know, yes, David is Bruno's son. If you've never heard of him, it's likely because, though talented, he was forever eclipsed by the wrestling accolades of his father.

More than a passing resemblance to the old man

Intercut with the opening moments of the match, Cactus Jack delivers a promo where he looks like a pirate and says, "This is Cactus Jack, and I would rather hurt a man than love a woman, but today David Sammartino, in front of a national TV audience, I'm gonna have to settle for hurting you." It's a great little clip and underlines the fact that Cactus is always one of the UWF's standout performers. The audience is receptive of this in that they always cheer him despite his heel role. Despite its shortcomings, UWF saw potential in Mick Foley and always portrayed him as a threatening competitor.

David responds with a promo of his own, warning Cactus not to treat him like a walk in the park or it will become a deadly obstacle course.

David's strategy is to work (attack) Cactus' left arm throughout the match. At one point, David has a submission hold locked in on that arm. Herb Abrams, unfamiliar with in-ring psychology, questions why David is "giving him a breather." Bruno explains to Herb the reasoning behind targeting a specific limb. Herb would go on to be voted the "Worst Commentator of 1990" by readers of, you guessed it, Meltzer's Wrestling Observer Newsletter. 

Herb: "Look at the face on this man!"

Cactus Jack goes for some heel heat and bites David's stomach. Herb Abrams: "This man is a madman!"

David takes a shot to the throat on the barricade and cut to the next commercial break. It's a promo for UWF by, oddly enough, David Sammartino! David calls the UWF the only promotion not to make a mockery of professional wrestling. The dominance of the somewhat cartoony, primarily family focused WWE at the time left the more serious wrestlers and fans in need of an independent outlet like the UWF. He says, "That's why I'm here, because David Sammartino needs a challenge, and that's why I'm here." Did Herb ever tell these guys to do a second take, or was he too busy marking out in the presence of big name wrestlers? Herb's inability to reign in the egos of his wrestlers was a definite factor in the UWF's unraveling.

"Oh no, Dangerous Dan Spivey?"

The next commercial is one that becomes familiar very quickly to the UWF fan as it sometimes plays multiple times in the same commercial break. Featuring some buzzing by "Killer Bee" B. Brian Blair, it's a quick showcase of the UWF merchandise: t-shirts and baseball hats. Though not particularly groundbreaking in terms of design or style, it was good wrestling fans had something physical to show their anticipation of the new promotion. Shown are hats with the UWF logo, a UWF logo shirt, and three different shirts featuring a UWF wrestler: Brian Blair, Paul Orndorff, and Dan Spivey. The ad plays into the UWF feud between Blair and Spivey, with Blair gasping at the Spivey shirt, saying, "I don't think I'd get this one." It's enjoyable the first time you see it.

Dr. Death delivers a shouting promo for the UWF. With a t-shirt reading "Bad to the Bone," he hypes his successful football and amateur wrestling backgrounds, as well as beating people up in bars. Doc: "I beat 'em all! I've thrown 'em out! In bars... Let me tell ya. Bars. We're not gonna talk about bars now, we're talking about pro wrestling!" It's enjoyable for its clunkiness and is sold by Doc's charisma. He's the bruising babyface of the UWF.

Following Doc's promo is an announcement about the next UWF taping, to be held on Thursday October 11th, 1990. "Tempers are gonna go off the scale as the hottest stars heat up the night!"

Back on Fury Hour, Herb asks Bruno what it's like watching his son getting beat up in matches. Bruno says he always tries to focus on being a professional.

David and Cactus Jack wrestle a decent match, with the crowd cheering for Cactus and booing David. Completely out of nowhere, Cactus decides to headbutt the referee, resulting in his DQ and a win for David.

After the match comes another commercial break, Hair Club for Men. The baldness of some of these men is hard to look at. Mentioned are the misperceptions of minoxidil. I had to look up what that was, and apparently it's lethal to cats even in small doses.

Good Lord.

Texaco System3, "It's that good." Not much more to say about this one. It's for gas.

"The Puck Drops Here." If you wanted to watch hockey in 1990, SportsChannel was a place you could do it.

Match 3: Billy Jack Haynes vs. Spitball Patterson

Herb calls Billy Jack, "a tremendous talent to the sport," while Bruno puts over his Full Nelson as second to no one. When the match starts the crowd starts booing Spitball almost immediately. Herb notes that Spitball is at a height/weight advantage, but Bruno points out that Haynes has the better weight distribution and muscle conditioning.

Why is the jobber called Spitball? "Because he spits a lot," Herb told Bruno. Tim Patterson had a fair amount of prior experience and would wrestle in multiple roles for the UWF. When Herb met him, for reasons only known to Herb, he thought "Spitball" was the name he should use. Vince McMahon is also oft-criticized for this kind of rebranding.

This match marks the first Fury Hour appearance of UWF cult figure, the referee Larry Sampson, who would soon play a role in a storyline and end up getting over with fans.

Bruno mocks Spitball for putting on a weak hold immediately reversed by Haynes. During the match, Spitball makes Haynes spit, prompting a discussion between Herb and Bruno. There's also some nicely executed moves by Haynes before he finishes Spitball with his signature Full Nelson. After the bell Haynes throws Spitball to the mat.

We flash back to the press conference that kicked off the UWF where Dan Spivey attacks B. Brian Blair. I covered the happenings in my first post.

Captain Lou's Corner - Fury Hour's first talk show segment, hosted by Captain Lou Albano. The digital backdrop behind him is a horribly cheap sailing wheel pattern. 

After announcing the UWF has the world's greatest wrestling, Capt. Lou introduces his first guest as B. Brian Blair, who comes buzzing into view. Capt. Lou asks him about the press conference segment we just saw, so Blair calls out Spivey. Blair says Spivey is a tall man, but he knows of a "story a long time ago about a man who chopped down a cherry tree." Okay? Capt. Lou puts his money on Blair, who says Spivey will look like he's got a bad case of the hives. "Bzzzzzzzz!"

Is he being sucked into a black hole?

Billy Jack Haynes cuts a UWF promo, saying he's in the best shape of his life, and in case you were wondering, "I still love ya, little kids." Haynes says, "I come in that ring to do one thing, and to fight, and win!" Another UWF merchandise commercial follows.

Next up is a promo from Colonel DeBeers, whose gimmick as a displaced white South African warlord with a pro-apartheid stance, though topical in 1990 to the news savvy wrestling fan, just looks dated and out of place in 2021. Not helping are the slew of pawn shop medals adorning his surplus outlet uniform, topped off by a dollar store eyepatch. And could they have gotten a more hideous color for the backdrop? 

Anyways, DeBeers says he's there because the UWF promised not to be prejudiced against him. He mentions having been, "amongst your midsts." He actually name-drops both Nelson Mandela and F.W. de Klerk during the promo, which is both hilarious and bad.

Match 4: Colonel DeBeers vs. Michael Allen

Colonel DeBeers is Mr. Mean, according to Bruno. CDB quickly squashes Allen but opts to continue torturing him in heel fashion. At one point CDB performs an interesting backstabbing knee driver from the  second rope and rides Allen down into the mat before finishing with a DDT and pin. CDB twirls his blonde mustache while the crowd boos. Herb: "He's there gloating, this bigoted rotten excuse for a human being!"

Match 5: Paul Orndorff vs. Riki Ataki

Once again we have Larry Sampson as referee. On commentary Bruno puts over Orndorff's piledriver, as he does it like no other. No matter who is on the receiving end, it's, "curtains for that individual." However, the arrogance of "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff does not go unnoticed by the commentators. Notable in past roles of both heel and face, Orndorff had potential to be used either way.

Pro Wrestling means never shying from a sweaty ass in your face.

Orndorff finishes Ataki with his famous piledriver and a pin. Herb: "No pun intended, but I think he 'Pearl Harbored' him!"

Soon "Dr. Death" Steve Williams is back to challenge Orndorff. Larry tries to break it up but Williams shoves him out of the ring. The commentators predict a showdown but it's Williams who steps out first, much to the confusion of Bruno, who wonders why he came out to begin with.

A commercial for a Mickey Mantle VHS tape, "The American Dream Comes to Life." Billy Martin shot a cow?

Commercial for ADT. Not much to say other than they've been going a long time.

Match 6: Dan Spivey vs. B. Brian Blair MAIN EVENT

Spivey makes his entrance first with an impressive pair of crazy eyes, looking every bit as dangerous as his name suggests.

Brian Blair comes out with a cool sparkly ring jacket. Herb says of Blair, "He is a fan favorite and one of the favorites of the fans here at the UWF, and the match is now going to take place, Bruno." Bruno: "Ha. It certainly will."

The match serves as a continuation of the feud started at the UWF press conference, showing some early promise in terms of actual storytelling, though this would not last very long.

Spivey's mullet is impressive and worth a mention.

The two wrestle a decent match but begin brawling outside the ring for a quick countout and double DQ. Here we get another UWF trope in the lack of a clean finish in a match between two established stars. It's as though Herb couldn't risk damaging either ego with a loss, so more often than not such matches would end by disqualification.

The brawl continues after the bell and is broken up by other UWF wrestlers. Herb demands a rematch.

Commercial for Vegas Dream on the NES featuring simulated gambling and a very annoying couple. Included with the game is a 50% coupon for either Shanghai (mahjong solitaire) or Revenge of the 'Gator (pinball) on Gameboy.

In case you were wondering, you're watching "SportsChannel America: Home of the Seven Day Sports Weekend."

Herb: "Wow Bruno, what action, what mayhem, I can't believe it!" He signs off with a "See ya next week wrestling fans!" Announced for next week is Colonel DeBeers vs. Billy Jack Haynes.

-

The first episode of Fury Hour launches the show in a promising fashion. There are recognizable faces, entertaining moments, sloppy performances, political incorrectness, and a whole lot of mullets. For a noted subpar wrestling promotion like Abrams' UWF, it starts out strongly enough. Would it ever surpass its premiere? Stay tuned!

Sources:

-Plombon, Jonathan: Tortured Ambition: The Story of Herb Abrams and the UWF

-Mat Review, Issue 6 Page 3